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The time crunch— something most Americans experience on a regular basis— affects many aspects of American family life. Most recently, it has even led my spouse and me to rethink our gift giving policies to each other. Instead of finding and acquiring (e.g., buying) the “perfect” gifts for each other in line with one of our hobbies, interests, or passions, this year we are giving each other the gift of LEISURE TIME for self.

This shift in gift focus has grown out of an increased sense that our daily juggle, in which we voluntarily choose to care for our kids, our domestic sphere, and our jobs, is plain exhausting and leaves little room for leisure time for our individual selves. This sense of loss of time for self is reflected in a 2002 national survey, in which 55% of all employees noted that they did not have enough time for themselves. Working fathers reported spending only 1.3 hours a day and working mothers reported spending a mere .9 hours a day on themselves.

This lack of time for self makes sense when one considers:

1. 70% of all families with children are headed by two employed parents or by a single working parent;

2. The combined weekly hours of dual-earner couples with children has increased significantly over the past 25 years, from 81 to 91 hours;

3. Technology such as email, Blackberries, and computers enables us to work anytime and anywhere, and thus, for many, it is hard to be “off duty;”

4. The amount of time spent caring for and doing things with children on workdays has also increased over the past 25 years, from 5.2 hours a day in 1977 to 6.2 hours day in 2002.

So, for this holiday season ahead, especially in light of increased financial constraints, perhaps you want to join my husband and me and give gifts of leisure time to your partners and friends. Not only is it easy to give, but it is also inexpensive and greatly appreciated. It has become that “perfect” gift for adults in our home!

• Child Care , Mothers and Fathers , Overwork , Spillover